Symptoms

When did they start making the weekends so short? There had to have been at least 20 more hours in a weekend in the past. Whoever shortened the weekend needs to be dealt with severely.

I'm beginning to suspect they're shortening the nights, too. After turning forty, I started noticing how tired I feel in the mornings. I swear I'm missing an hour or so of sleep.

Also, I think I'm being poisoned. There's this puffy layer showing up around my mid-section. I try to make sure that the source of all the steak and cake I eat is clean, but the amount of pudge keeps growing.