Tuesday, April 15, 2014

We Change

I believe what I believe, today.  That's all I know to say.  I don't know of anyone, no matter how unchanging they seem to be, that has not changed something they believe since I have known them.  Maybe there are some things they would never change, say a core belief or set of beliefs, but we, all of us, are changing... constantly.

Every new piece of information we obtain changes us slightly.  You can't remain unchanged, no matter how hard you try.  Your mind wraps itself around new ideas and morphs your current beliefs to fit. 

Much like the process that alters the way we pronounce words, our ideas and beliefs change, as well.  Time takes away small particles of thought and tell us the thoughts are the same; they are not.  There is a slight difference, that, through repeated generation of the thought, erodes it into a completely different thought.  Still, we think we are thinking the same thing we thought all those thoughts ago.  We're not.  We're saying a word that sounds nothing like it did... and it makes no sense, though we believe it does.

No matter how closed minded you try to be, the electrons spinning and whirring around the atoms in your brain change you.  They open you up, unwillingly, to new thoughts and ideas.  Even the most brainwashed person is changed by time and the laws of physics.

We see patterns in everything, and, while the laws governing the construction of those patterns hold firm for what may seem an eternity, the patterns change.  The point of observation changes.  The frame holding it all together may change.  It may all collapse and be subject to new laws which may have always existed but have never been called on to present themselves.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Property Clips

A few quick cuts from some clips taken on my property over the last couple of years:

It's amazing how quickly those little pine trees grew!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Time Passes...

Christmas, New Year's Day and Valentine's Day have all passed since last I posted on this thing.  It seems like just last week. 

I remember my Grandmother talking about how it seemed like not so long ago she and her siblings were children playing together. Her brothers and sisters were already long-gone at the time we had the conversation; she was already over 90 years old. 

I'd just bought this house in which I now sit clicking a keyboard.  She was asking how I liked living here.  She was still healthy, then, and her mind was good. 

It has been 15 years since that conversation.  She's been gone over 8 years.  I sort of felt what she meant even back then but I am really starting to feel it now.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


I have no writing skills.  I only do it because it takes my mind off of other stupid things I think about that I probably don't need to think about or worry about. 

One of the things written, and subsequently destroyed, began with a line I still remember, because I think it, in a very brick-tongued kind of way, describes why I feel compelled to jab at the keyboard once in a while: "Not being adept at colorful description, I will abstain from witless meandering and attempt to communicate as intriguingly as possible the events I have seen or have been brought by some means to know.  This being said, I suppose grievous details should not be withheld for your sake as well as mine, for laying my confusion into the air my peace comes..."

That pretty well sums it up.  I do this mess to not think about what I'm thinking about at the time by thinking intensely and selfishly about the things I'm thinking about so I can write nearly incoherent sentences and paragraphs about what I'm thinking about.

I don't know why I don't let myself delete blog posts.  Maybe because they've already been released from their cages and it would be akin to lying should an attempt be made to try and pretend they never existed, these mangled words so carelessly stabbed from my fingertips.  Everything else gets burned or deleted.

Wow... That was bad.

If I can't do any better than my last entry, I should probably quit.  Hair... really, Tony?  It reads like the stream of consciousness in which it was written, which is just ugly and bad.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

20+ Years of Long Hair

It's been over 20 years since my last haircut of any kind.  I've had long hair for the majority of my life.  I don't think I'd know who I was if I had short hair.

I only had regular haircuts for the period between starting school and 9th grade.  When I was very little, I fought tooth and nail whenever I'd have to get a haircut.  That only usually happened when we were going to be taking family photos and my mother wanted me to have short hair for pictures.  When I started school, it became a requirement for me to keep a perpetually fairly short haircut, though.  Summers I grew it out, but it never got down to my shoulders like it was before I started school.

Then, in 10th grade I began to avoid the regular haircuts, again.  By the time I was old enough to drive, my hair was back down to my shoulders.  I got one haircut when they took my senior picture (for my mother) and one final cut in 1993 when I went for a job interview.  That was the last time, ever.

I don't know why I've always liked my hair long.  When I was small, I can remember it felt like I was having a limb removed when I got my hair cut.  It actually hurt... I remember feeling pain.  Probably one of the reasons I fought when they'd try to cut it.

There was one odd period, in junior high. The fashion at the time was very short spikey hair.  I wanted so desperately to fit in that I practically begged to get my hair cut like that.  Strangely enough, my mom stepped in and wouldn't allow it. 

My hair has never been really short.  I've never had a crew cut or a buzz cut.  Once, it almost happened.  I was an extra in the movie Blue Sky. Jessica Lange won an academy award for this movie.  It was set on a military base, and when we showed up, they lined us all up for haircuts.  I slipped out of the line, balled my hair up and put it in my marching band helmet.  I then went around the hair cutting area and came out the door where everyone who had already had their hair cut was exiting.  One guy on the crew noticed, but it wasn't enough for him to do anything.  He just seemed annoyed.  Long story short, I was on-screen for a miniscule second or two, and very blurry in the background, so it didn't really matter.

I've been asked if I would cut my hair for a job, and I've always said I would, depending on the job.  That's probably a lie, though.  I'd have to be pretty hard up to cut my hair for a job.

The only reasons I'd cut my hair is if something major and terrible happened in my life, or if I started going bald.  I've always thought having a shaved head looked kind of cool, so long as there isn't like a big pony tail in the back of it, or something that looks odd and out of place.  I don't see me doing that, though, unless something huge happens.

Friday, October 04, 2013

GOV Wastes Time and Money Saying "We're not wasting Time and Money"

The federal government has placed 'Website down due to shutdown' notices on all the websites not deemed to be necessary for public safety due, allegedly, to the fact that they won't be funded.  Having worked as a webmaster for a GE website for a decade, I know this to be absolute bunk.  You don't need to do anything to a website once it's up.  You only have to do something if it goes down, and in that case, it could just stay down, since they're in a shutdown, right?  They had to do MORE to put up the notice than they would have had to do to leave the site up. 

If an honest spending halt was to be done, they should have called the registrar and cancelled their registration.  Then, they should have cancelled any contracts with webhosts, who would have then taken control of servers, if those servers don't belong to the government.

Then, they should have placed notices on all of the other sites deemed 'necessary' admitting that they are terrible at protecting life, liberty and property, the only things they should be doing, anyway, and that basically, we're all on our own anyway, and they're just making it official... at least until the DNS entries expire.

Instead, like some protection racket, they say, "If you won't pay us, we'll makes it sos you can't use any of the stuffs yous guys paid foah," while utilizing resources that should probably be illegal to use during the shutdown in an attempt to inconvenience people who actually paid for them.
It doesn't surprise me that a machine politician's administration uses this tactic, but it is funny.  I wish they'd go ahead and shut the whole thing
down.  Then we can go about 'finding new guards for our future security.'

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Our Spirits Don't Speak English

I saw this a while back. Can you imagine if your child was made to feel like this for not speaking Arabic, or Spanish or some other language he or she didn't know?

Poarch: Where is YOUR Charity?

Other tribal groups give back to the community, but the Poarch "Creek" seem to only want to take money, violate tribal lands, and give nothing back.  What are your deeds, Poarch?  All I've seen is desecration and gambling profits that seem to be used to buy off corrupt government in order to get innocent people charged with bogus crimes for opposing your greedy ways. You're allowed to violate state law... that could very easily change.