Sunday, November 26, 2017

Fast and Full for Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving weekend I would like to express my sincere thanks to the fast food workers out there who keep me fed.  I've never worked at a fast food restaurant, though in my teens I worked at a Kress with a coffee shop.  Fast food seems like it would require odd-hours and be almost completely thankless.

Due to poor planning, or exhaustion, sometimes I am required to rely on you for sustenance.  You almost always satisfy.  So, to all of those who work fast food and, in spite of everything, take the time to greet me with kindness and correctly fill my order, I say thank you and God bless.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Winter River Bridge

Here, in the cold, lonely house one seeks warmth but it can't be found.  No solace.  Just cold, darkness.  Alone.  Utterly alone... save for the ghost of Lydia Deetz.  Even Morocco Jones is not to be found.

It's so much fun to spend holidays alone.  And hungry.  And cold.  And whiney.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Guitar Center Sucks

Maybe you shouldn't buy non-guitar equipment from a place called GUITAR Center.  They recently really botched up an order online.  Perhaps they're better in person... or not.  They don't seem that great in person, either.  The prices posted online seem good, but good luck getting it from there to you.

The good ole' days of Bailey Brothers, Art's  and Capital Music...  I miss that.  Even our local Effinger's or Z's.  What happened to those awesome days?  A trip to the guitar shop was like going to an amusement park.  Now we have impersonal websites and reps on the phone who barely seem to know how to tie their shoes.  Over the phone you have no idea if they're even wearing shoes.  Not that I care about if they wear shoes or not... I digress.

Yeah, there were arrogant snots at some of those local places.  They would eventually talk you out of liking music, if you let them... but there were also cool folks who would talk music and trash.  There has to be something to take the place of that.  Is the interwebnet really taking that spot?  Surely not.

Maybe growing up in the pre-www days made it seem more fulfilling to find a spot where people gathered to talk about common interests.  Social networking has really opened up the world, to understate it immensely.  Yet, somehow, there is still something better about getting that hungry loneliness abated and even satiated for a little while with a visit to the shrine to guitars for sale.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Nice Weather You're Having

Why does it go from intolerably hot to uncomfortably cold?  Heat is good at the beach and cold is good when I can bundle up with my girl.  Why can't it just be 70 degrees outside all the rest of the time?

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Unmitigated Gall

If you have your gall bladder removed, remember not to skip a meal.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

It's Good to Have a Tongue

Thank God no one wrote in the margins.  The best stage is one.  Tonagual shape shifts back into his natural form, sans a glossectomized chunk.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017


Now it looks like something that might have popped out of the chest of a character on an Aliens movie.