Thursday, November 30, 2006

Angry Fat Funeral

I had just arrived home yesterday, and had thrown a few pieces of pizza in the microwave to warm up, when somebody started banging on my door. I recognized Matt's voice and let him in. He started going on in his usual way. Matt has a way of telling you all the details of about something without telling you what he's talking about. I had no idea what he was talking about. I finally just asked him.

His former father-in-law passed away a few days earlier on Sunday. It was his night for custody, and he said he wanted me to ride with him to see his daughter. I told him I would.

First, we rode to his ex-wife's parents' house. Apparently, she has been living with them since she filed for divorce from Matt. That was where he was supposed to get her. From there, he was going to take her to the funeral home for the viewing. Nobody was home, though, so he rode on to the funeral home, thinking they probably went on early.

He pulled into the funeral home, and started talking to one of his ex-father-in-law's daughters. She was very nice and polite, and told Matt that his ex was waiting for him at the door with his girl. Matt pulled up close to the door, and suddenly this morbidly obese man ran up and started berating Matt, while we were still in the truck. He leaned on the truck, began yelling, and spraying spittle. At first, I could hardly understand him from the wheeze of his weight problem, but as he went on, I could tell he was cursing Matt and his family, telling Matt he wasn't to come around anymore. Matt told him he had a legal right to see his daughter. He also called Matt a liar and told Matt and his mother (Matt's mom wasn't even there, nor did Matt even mention her!) to go to hell. He threatened Matt with physical violence if he ever came around again. He was yelling and being very 'angry fat'. I didn't know if to be grossed-out, angry, or feel sorry for him.

To start with, I didn't really want to be there, and I was getting tired of hearing the man yell. There were little kids all around, and I certainly didn't want to be a part of some incident at the funeral home. I told Matt, "Matt, let's leave, it's obvious this man is very upset." To which the man replied something like, "That's right, ya'll git the hell outta here!" I didn't understand why this man was so angry, and I wanted to assure the man that I had nothing against him, because I don't even know him. I said, "Sir, I don't know you but..." and he cut me off, saying something I couldn't understand, but it seems it was to the effect that he was a Christian and we weren't. Matt began to pull off, because the guy was now trying to climb inside the truck. "...God bless you." I said as we drove away.

I asked Matt who the guy was. He called him "Uncle Albert". I couldn't help but laugh. We had just been accosted by a white Fat Albert. I would learn that Albert is 50 years old, has never had a real relationship with a woman, and still lives with his parents. It's sad that the only way the guy can get attention is by causing a scene at the funeral of his sister's husband. It's really sad.

I don't understand someone acting like that at a funeral home. If the guy had just been civil, everything would have been fine. Matt told him he wasn't going to get Abby until the weekend, anyway, but they guy just kept on. I think he may have been drunk, on dope or something. I don't care if I hated someone, when someone passes away, it's time to let that hatred slide for a while. What a fat, slovenly moron this guy was. He showed his ass at a FUNERAL HOME of all places... That's almost unforgivable.

1 Comments:

Anonymous willwurk4beer said...

In the words of Fat Albert "HEY HEY HEY!" lol sorry couldn't resist

2:55 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home