Monday, March 09, 2020

Shockingly Clean

Ready to get cleaned up for bed, and not feeling so great, I jumped in the shower, last night, hoping to be in and out quickly. Either I closed my eyes, or soap clouded my vision for a moment, but in that instant, everything went dark. Absolutely nothing was visible.

Drops of shower water continued to register on my noggin, so I knew I wasn't dead. Making out the shower curtain with my hands, I shoved it out of the way and was able to see faint light coming from under the door of the bathroom. Ebony colored everything else, but at least I knew, now, that I hadn't been blinded. "Nightmares start like this," I thought.

Opening the door improved visibility enough in the bathroom to see that the light switch was in the 'on' position. Whatever happened, it wasn't a blown bulb; there were four, and I knew they didn't all go at once. Handling the switch violently, I uttered a few profane things.

Right as I thought the switch would come apart, the light began flickering. A light went on in my head, as well, telling me the switch was bad. Properly agitated enough, now, I snatched the whole switch apparatus from the wall.

Like a scene from a bad horror move, the bathroom flickered with arc sparks. Even so, and unsatisfied with the result, I snatched again, this time dislodging the wire from the switch completely. All that protruded from the hole in the wall, now, were two wires.

Soaking wet, with water running down my fingers, I took the broken switch and knocked the two wires together. Electricity arced again, but now there was light. Satisfied, I finished my shower.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is not to flick a switch that isn't there when you want to turn a light on or off. I stopped and bought a replacement switch on my way home, today, and installed it quickly to avoid the electrocution I deserved last night. I'm glad there are people praying for me.