Read Me

Criticism of myself comprises pretty much the bulk of this blog. Overt in some cases, a little vague in others, every negative thing on here is basically pointed at myself. Maybe pointing out the bad stuff is cathartic. Except where specifically named, the 'people' and 'folks' are usually me.

Besides introspection and random thought, there's really not much to this thing. Anytime I try to read old posts, I cringe, either at the poor writing or the awkward tone. Crazy people are more coherent.

Keep trying, Tony.

No Fun

I'm doing better, now. I only eat half a pound of ground beef instead of the whole pound. I don't eat two chickens, anymore... just one. I only drink a few soft drinks a week instead of a few a day.

I don't drink any alcohol. I don't smoke. I don't do any drugs.

I got 4 equal sides and 4 right angles. *makes open bracket with one hand while making closed bracket with the other*

Predilections

There are things we make great effort to deny about ourselves for no better reason than the fact that some people pointed them out to us when we were young. Usually someone close to you, maybe a family member, but someone who knew you well enough to read your face and body language points it out. In an effort to be less predictable and more independent, we deny it, then spend the rest of our formative years keeping up the lie.

When we get older, we kick ourselves for not coming to terms with those things years earlier. If we hadn't been so stubborn and recognized our talents and predilections in our developmental years, we could've taken better advantage of them. We ask ourselves where we'd be or what we'd be doing if we hadn't played that game.

Everyone does that, though. Some were better at listening when they were younger, but were usually led astray in some other way by some well-meaning person. The very same things that make some people successful when given special emphasis in their lives, might be the very things that make them ultimately intolerable to the type of people they long to be around.

Happy Belly

Why does having food in your belly make you feel like everything is going to get better? It must trigger some brain chemical... endorphins or something. You can feel like crawling back into bed and never leaving until somebody gives you something to eat. Suddenly, you believe you're capable of charging an army all by yourself.

Then again, it can also seem to have the opposite effect. Last night, for example, I ate a pizza that knocked me out as if it had been spiked with roofie powder. There wasn't any turkey on it, so it wasn't tryptophan. The full belly syndrome can apparently cause sleepiness, as well.

Maybe it just makes you feel how you need to feel. If you need to sleep, it helps you sleep. If you need energy, it pumps you up. Either way, I love it.

Even Tornados Don't Want to Hang Out with Me

A tornado just came right up to the house and went away. So weird. The map showed it right at my house when it disappeared.

They were showing a map on TV, pointing right at my house saying, "Get into a safe place." The wind and rain started smacking the windows and roof. My eyes widened.

Mere seconds later, though, the wind and rain stopped. Almost immediately, they cancelled the tornado warning. Thank God for that.

Friendly to Strangers

There are people you meet that just seem like you should know them. Whether it's a familiar facial feature, verbal quirk, or some other intangible, there's just something that makes you feel almost immediately comfortable with them. Before you know it, you're joking with them like a friend. Then, you notice the raised eyebrow, quizzical look on their face and realize you don't know that person at all.

What You've Got

You can't ever forget how good you've got it. Focusing in on a few bad things can separate you from the big picture. No matter what the situation, you still have things others may not. It sure helps to take a minute and recognize what you've got.